Too Many Pillows

By Peter Bowden

 


The bed had disappeared beneath them sometime over the years. What began as two good sleeping pillows and a quilt sensible enough for winter had multiplied into a small upholstered kingdom. There were pillows stitched with leaves, pillows embroidered with words no one actually believed in, Bless This House, Gather, Breathe... pillows shaped like squares and tubes and impossible little circles that served no known human purpose except to be moved from one place to another before bedtime. Every evening became a quiet ceremony of relocation. He would stand there in the lamplight holding an armful of them like a man clearing brush from a road, while she insisted each one belonged somewhere specific, though tomorrow they would all migrate again.

He never complained at first because he loved the care in it. The bed mattered to her and the arrangement mattered. The soft layering of textures and colors was her way of pushing back against the plainness of the world. Outside were bills and weather and bad news arriving hourly through glowing screens. But here, in this room, there were velvet cases the color of moss, tiny stitched flowers, tassels that brushed against the wood headboard like whispers. She built comfort the way some people build fires. Carefully. Repeatedly. As if warmth required proof.

But there came a night when the balance tipped quietly into absurdity. He knew it because he sat on the edge of the mattress and one decorative pillow slid soundlessly to the floor, followed by another and another, like guests leaving a party they no longer enjoyed. There were simply too many to sleep among, to move, to justify. He looked at the growing pile on the rug and began to laugh; not cruelly, but with the exhausted affection reserved for the people we choose forever. She laughed too then, standing there in her house shoes and soft blue robe, seeing it all at once. And together they left half the pillows on the floor that night, where they rested peacefully, like retired actors finally free from performance.

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